A few months ago I decided to challenge myself to be more giving. It started off being a rewarding experience. But, shortly after, I was faced with two observations. 1. It hurts when you are giving and they don’t pay it forward. Takers. It hurts when you come to the realization that some people are simply natural born takers. And observation 2. It’s the season of giving. So, when faced with the opportunity to buy gifts and help those less fortunate, I was excited to shop and make this holiday special for them…until the someone less fortunate was someone I didn’t particularly “like.” Someone…to be honest, I didn’t think deserved it. Someone who lies to me day in and day out, instigates, and is all around just not a nice person. You wouldn’t want to help them either, so you understand me, right? And I shouldn’t help them, amirite? No, actually I’m not right. You know what God showed me? That I STILL have so much to learn. He had me give to the selfish, to show me how to not be selfish. You see, I was giving, still expecting something, even if it were a thank you, I was looking for a return. And when my expectations weren’t met, I became the selfish one. And to my observation 2, when I tried to call the whole thing off and excuse my not helping by saying this individual wasn’t deserving, God lovingly asked me, “What if I did that to you?” Ewwwww. That hurt. Know why? Because I am certainly not deserving of all that He gives me. Daily I fall short. And what does God do? He keeps loving on me. So, in my attempt to be more like Him and less like me. To love much because God loves me much. I’m going shopping.