Studying a book about leadership and obedience to God, my mom posed the question: Do you know the cost?
Every week I come down with the Monday morning blues. I thought it was just me, but I’ve heard other people express it. It’s not because the weekend is full of fun and Monday is just a reminder of the long work week ahead. But, because Monday reminds me that time is passing. A new week is starting and I’m not prepared, and before I can catch myself, I’m thinking of everything in life (or the prior week for that matter), that I have not accomplished. The day changing into Monday represents, to me, time moving forward, whether I want it to or not. And since I like to have control (sometimes…just a little bit), Mondays are just that something I can’t stop, avoid or control.
There are things I want for myself so badly that it physically hurts. I even have it all worked out in my head how I would like to obtain them. But, having them would mean turning my back on God because, even though I don’t know His detailed plan for my life, I know what He doesn’t want for my life at this moment. And to be honest, to answer the question, no I don’t understand the cost. If I did, Mondays would be easy for me. And I wouldn’t have a tug of war contest with God at 5:40 a.m. every Monday morning.
So, I can’t honestly say that I understand the cost and all that it entails…that’s too big for my tiny, ever racing mind. And because my pea brain can’t grasp the magnitude of the cost, I trust the One who does know it all. The One who knows that I don’t really understand the cost, but gives me the chance to do what He says even though my flesh cries out, daily. I don’t know the cost, but I know it’s important to God. And because I love Him and trust Him, I do it, hurting and afraid.